Five Pounds

Five Pounds

Oh, the things people will refuse to do!


Mr Smith stayed in a small, cheap hotel for a few days. One day, just when he was about to check out, the hotel manager said to him, ‘Mr Smith, you’ve burned a hole in the table in your room with a cigarette. That’s going to cost five pounds. Please give me the money.’
‘Oh, no!’ Mr Smith said. ‘I didn’t burn your table. I don’t smoke, and I’ve never had any cigarettes in my room.’
The man behind the desk said angrily, ‘I’ve had this hotel for nearly twelve years now, and nobody has ever said, “I’m not going to pay for that burn” before!’

Grammar


  • be about to do something

Intend to do something, or be close to doing something, very soon:
- He was about to check out...
- We were just about to leave, when Mary arrived.


  • present perfect

Continuation up to now: we use the present perfect tense to talk about the actions that continue up to the present moment:
- I've had this hotel for years (he is still the owner of the hotel)
To say that we have never done something in our life:
- I've never smoked in my life.
To say that the consequences can be seen in the present moment:
- You've burned the hole in the table and you have to pay. (I can see the burn now, and I want you to pay for that)
- You burned the hole in the table and you had to pay. (It all happened in the past and we aren't talking about what's going on now)

  • past simple

We use the past simple tense to identify the person, thing or circumstances responsible for a present situation:
- I didn't burn your table!

  • present simple

To describe our habits:
- I don't smoke.


  • going to future

We use it to refuse or order something:
- I'm not going to pay for that! (I refuse to do that)
- That's going to cost 5 pounds. (You have to pay)

[source: More Funny Stories, A. L. Hill]

#present perfect #past simple #going to future
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